The Importance of Boundaries

What is a Boundary?

A boundary is a way of communicating to someone what we’re comfortable with and what we’re not. It is the expectations we set for ourselves and with the people in our lives. By setting a boundary, you are essentially telling others how you want to be treated. 

It is normal to have some level of discomfort when you are setting boundaries, especially at the beginning. As you practise setting and respecting boundaries, the discomfort naturally will be less intense.Through boundary setting, you protect yourself, rather than pleasing, fixing, or rescuing the other person.

Different Types of Boundaries

• Physical- Your comfort with space and touch. An example of this is someone invading your personal space or making you feel uncomfortable through touch.

• Property/Materials- These are things we own and our expectations around it. Examples of someone violating a property boundary include: Someone borrows your things without asking, or they don’t return your things after being lent to them.

• Emotional- The respect we have for ourselves and others. Allowing others to have their emotional experience and validating their feelings. Emotional boundary violations include: giving unsolicited advice, name calling, gaslighting, shaming etc.

• Time boundary- This is how we want to prioritize our time and when we want to take time to rest. Time boundary violations include: showing up late without giving notice, ghosting, being guilted by someone after saying “no” to spending time with them.

  
  Boundary Styles

• Rigid- Zero space for negotiation. These are the things that you’re absolutely not okay with.

• Non Existent- Letting things go through you. This is the inability to say “No” or stand up for yourself.

• Flexible- This is the middle ground. Not all boundaries should be rigid. The key is to listen to yourself and know when to compromise.

Why Are Boundaries Important?

• Builds healthy relationships

• Helps others understand our needs

• Avoid unnecessary anger and resentment

• Helps reduce stress and burnout

• Prioritze time for yourself

If you’re curious on when to set a boundary or how to effectively set a boundary, check out the “How To Set A Boundary Blog”